The Aspen Bar Guide

Where The Little People Party

So I was at L’Hostaria having dinner tonight with three female friends when some surfer dude from Florida dressed in a Quiksilver flannel shirt and low-slung wool beanie walked right up to our table and offered to buy us a $70 bottle of wine. He was drunk, he was obnoxious, and in the ten minutes he spent slurring in our ears about this-and-that, he made it a few facts about himself abundantly clear: he is 36 years old, he is already retired, and he is filthy rich.

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“Only in Aspen,” my friend Liz said. “And the wine is delicious.”

Here’s the thing. Forget about Vegas—anything can happen in Aspen, especially at night.  You don’t need a VIP pass to have access to wild times and wild people. And you definitely don’t need to worry about all those private parties everyone is always talking about during the X Games.

All weekend everyone’s going, “Are you going to the Mountain Dew thing?” or “So and so is on the list for plus two, and I have another friend who isn’t going, so we might be able to get three of us in but that means Jane is screwed.”

Bummed you’re not on the guest list? Well guess what. I wasn’t either.

The X Games have gotten so big you would think it was the fricking Academy Awards when it comes to the private party circuit. It seems like I’ve been spending the entire weekend scrambling to get tickets for this and a pass to that even though I’d rather be at Texas Reds for kereoke night than at some la-la industry party where half the people have no idea that their star power doesn’t extend beyond the little world of action sports (there are a few exceptions, but only a few). Plus, I hate having high expectations for these things because they’re usually not that rad. So trust me when I tell you that you’re not missing anything.

The great thing about partying in Aspen is there’s a very distinct circuit we all follow based on time of day, so the good news is you’re guaranteed to run into your 50 best friends (and the bad news is you’ll also probably see that guy you’ve been trying to avoid). The bottom line is you’re never alone and you don’t need a credential to get in. Here’s the local lowdown on where to go and when.

Apres Ski: 3 – 7 p.m.

The best place to party after the lifts close hands down is 39 Degrees at The Sky Hotel, where the heated pool and Jacuzzi are open to the public, so don’t forget to wear your suit under your ski clothes because the hot tub is calling your name. Inside, funky deep couches and a huge fireplace are more mod than mountain town with a distinct urban vibe. It’s always packed, it’s always rowdy, and the hotel is unbelievably tolerant of belligerent drunk people. Don’t be surprised if you see a guy jump off the roof of the hotel into the pool—his name is Johnny and he’s done it three times since I’ve lived here.

Dinner 7 – 9 p.m.

The secret to dining in Aspen is two simple little words: bar menu. Aspen’s restaurants are notoriously overpriced, overcrowded, and overrated. The great thing about the bar menus are the prices (lots of small plates to share and entrees for under $20), the atmosphere (it’s still a bar, after all), and the portions (big enough to fill your gut before you start drinking but small enough to avoid food coma).

The best bar menus in town are at Campo di Fiori, the popular Italian bistro where the waitstaff is as good looking as the food. Also try the aforementioned L’Hostaria and be sure to say hey to Gibbo, the Kiwi bartender known for floating free lemoncello shots to all the lovely ladies who come in and ask for him by name. Jimmy’s has an extensive selection of tequila and a wide range of American fare, from a side of mac and cheese to the best crab cakes you’ll gonna find this far away from the sea. Please tell Grayson I sent you—she’s the one with the pink hair and she’s awesome.

The Dive Bar Hour 9 – 10 p.m.

After dinner, support Aspen’s dive bars (an endangered species in an ever-rising rental market), the best place fatten your buzz before the clubs start hopping. Try Bentley’s at the Wheeler Opera House or Cooper Street, where the shuffleboard table will always provide plenty of entertainment even if the crowd won’t.

The Gathering Place: 10  – 11 p.m.

I am not exaggerating when I say the entire town always ends up at Eric’s, where a confluence of four bars (Eric’s, The Billiard Room, the Cigar Bar and Su Casa) makes it the place to be when the party starts heating up. This is where you’re guaranteed to find those friends who stopped answering their cell phones hours ago because the bar just got too damn loud.

The Clubs: 11 p.m. – 2 a.m.

Chelsea and Lava are Aspen’s two biggest dance clubs and they’re right across the street from each other on the Hyman Avenue mall. There’s also the Speakeasy at Chelsesa, a dimly lit lounge with a smaller, more intimate dance floor for those late night bump and grind pre-hookup sessions.

After Hours: 2 a.m. – 4.a.m.

The best place to be when the bars close is New York Pizza, located upstairs on the Cooper Avenue Mall. Don’t be surprised if the line is out the door but know it’s worth the wait. The pizza really is New York style with huge slices and lots of hollow eyed drunks who look pretty haggard under the small restaurant’s bright lights. There’s also The Popcorn Wagon, a little street cart across from the Wheeler Opera house where waffle fries and huge pita wraps are sure to bust your gut and get you ready for a hard night’s sleep—you’re going to need it because the cycle is guaranteed to start all over again the very next day.