Announcement: Hottest Bachelors Strip In Vegas

Wait a second, I meant “Hottest Bachelors On Vegas Strip Announced”.  We here at Lat34 are always on the lookout for the latest celebrity news.  PEREZ HILTON?  Every morning.  TIGER BEAT?  Five-year subscription.  DON JOHNSON poster?  On my refrigerator of course.  But nobody beats BMX Transworld when it comes to celebrity news.  Especially “extreme sports” celebrity news.  That’s why we would like to thank them for spreading the word: “Ricardo Laguna Named One Of Las Vegas’ Hottest Bachelors!”  AAAAAAHHH! 

I can’t believe I let this very exclusive, very posh list pass us by!  We’re usually so on top of these things.  But as we took a closer look at this list of hotness, we couldn’t help but notice that there were a few names excluded, rendering the list void of merit. 

Just off the top of my head, how could they not include two of Vegas’ most famous bachelors SIEGFRIED & ROY.  Anyone who’s anyone would assume that they would be at the top of the list based on seniority alone.  Then there’s the most mysterious man on the strip.  CRISS ANGEL.  He’s so mysterious, nobody knows why his name is spelled the way it is.  And finally, how could they leave out LITTLE TONY?  Everyone who’s anyone in Vegas knows they must answer to Lil Tony. 

Just keep an eye out for this issue because I’m sure that it will sell out as soon they’re put on the shelves.